We haven't lived in a place that's felt like home since we left our beautiful, comfortable home at the beginning of June. And while we've been blessed to have good places to stay in the mean time (some better than others), I'm realizing you just can't replace the feeling of settledness that comes from the familiarity and coziness of your own home. 

I can't look at that picture above without tears and an ache that goes deep into my soul. Our home on Logan Lane saw us through some dark days and some incredibly peaceful days. Ira turned into a toddler there. Henrik turned into a little boy there. Devin and I became closer there. I can still smell the familiar scent of walking into the laundry room from the garage. I can hear the sound of the boys running across the kitchen floor in the morning. I find myself back in the family room, laying on our fresh, new carpet by my favorite big windows that let in the afternoon sun. My favorite memories are the everyday, normal ones...like sitting on the bathroom counter with Devin, sipping Liftoff and chatting while the boys bathed. And the dinners. We hosted so many dinners with friends in that house and I'm so thankful we used it in that way.

Devin and I don't like the way we left that house and in hindsight realize we didn't appreciate all that it offered. It was such a place of safety for us. 

Thankfully we're anticipating a new home where we'll make memories and watch our kids grow and I'm confident it'll become the perfect place for us in this next season. In the mean time (we get possession in 23 days!) I'm dreaming and planning and that's really fun too...

One of my idea boards.

The entryway to our new house is one of my very favorite parts. The floor, the front door, the slanted ceilings and cute little window. And that wood trim. Ahh...I can't wait to work on this space!

In the mean time though, we're still making great memories with our boys. Thoroughly enjoying this season with them and thankful that when the four of us are together we can be home. I'm so grateful for how well they've held up through all the moving and changing and new friends and schools and church. They're seriously amazing and I feel so honored to play a role in these precious boy's lives.

Baby 3, Weeks 4 - 10

We are so happy to be adding to our family in April!

My pregnancy journal thus far...(this is lots of detail, but I've learned that I forget these things SO quickly!)

While we were not trying to get pregnant, it wasn't really a huge surprise.
My early symptoms start pretty much 24 hours after conception which might sound crazy, but I start to feel the occasional weirdness in my chest. With Ira, I remember feeling the implantation cramping, but didn't this time. But I was super tired around implantation and went to bed at like 8:30 for a few nights in a row which was when Devin believed me that I was pretty sure I was pregnant.

We got a positive test about 5 days before my missed period. Devin read the test, per his request. In the past I've taken a test alone and told him later and he wanted to be included this time. :) I took a couple more tests over the next 5 days, just to see if the second pink line would get darker. It was cool to see how the hcg levels were increasing so rapidly in just a day or two. By the day before my expected period I had a really solid second line.

I already started feeling some nausea at week 4, which was different than previous pregnancies. Weeks 4 and 5 were hit and miss with feeling sick. Each day was different. Some days I had normal energy and about every third day it looked hard to walk up stairs or go anywhere. By the start of week 6 I was feeling really gross the majority of the day. While still super excited about the baby, I started to have days where I was like "oh yeah, this is why being pregnant sucks".

Weeks 6 and 7 were all-day nausea everyday. Pretty normal energy though, which was nice. At the end of week 7 I had some cramping and weird pains, which was exactly what I had around that time with Ira so I was glad to remember back and know it was normal. Week 8 I started to have some sick breaks for a few hours here and there when I felt fine, but then the nausea would come back in full force.

I had my first OB appt on the 18th. It was fun to the see the baby and hear the beating heart. The baby measured 8 weeks, 2 days. I'm back at Dr. Stroud's practice which I love, but unfortunately the birthing center they're building won't be ready for this birth, so now I need to decide if I want to stay with them and deliver in the hospital or go for a homebirth. I really had hoped to avoid the hospital stay this time around so we are meeting with a homebirth midwife soon to get some questions answered before we make a decision.

With the nausea I have been pretty picky about what food does or doesn't sound good. For some reason the smell of garlic is one of the worst things for me, which is usually a smell I love. But I cannot cook with garlic right now or I will feel terrible. Carrots gross me out. Thankfully I can still handle a cup of coffee in the morning. I've been wanting romaine lettuce salads with poppyseed dressing. Mostly I want savory food, dessert doesn't sound very good which is how I was with Ira the whole pregnancy. I've been indulging in sugary cereal, something I tend to do in pregnancy. Fried or greasy foods do not settle well and tend to make me feel really bad.

Pregnancy splurge...cereal I would never give to my kids. :)

I think I took this around week 5. I wanted a "before" pic so that when I'm a couple months postpartum I can look back to reassure myself that someday I'll look normal again. By week 8 my jeans weren't wanting to button which kind of freaked me out, but friends assured me that the third time around they popped out so much faster.

So now here we are, heading into the last couple weeks of the first trimester. I'm starting to have some good days where I don't feel sick, which is such a relief and gives me a new outlook on life. But I can tell the sickness is definitely not over, so trying to press on and know these seasons pass quickly in hindsight.

What I'm Loving, August 2017

I was getting a bit burnt out on LaCroix and spindrift has been the perfect replacement. It's literally just a little fresh pressed juice in sparkling water. The grapefruit and blackberry are my favorite flavors.

Henrik is on his second pair of these "cam" shoes from Plae. They're so great. So easy for him to put on by himself. I love how they look. And they go with anything. They can be dressed up and also are great everyday tennis shoes. They aren't cheap, but good quality and he seems to love wearing them.

I'm a big Jesus Culture fan. I've probably said this before, but I struggle with a lot of worship music...often feeling like it all sounds the same, is a bit shallow, or just not my style. This album has been speaking so much life to me. The boys love it too.

I've been using EO for several years now. I started with a MLM company, which I have no problem with and think they make great products, but I don't like having to do a monthly order to get the best price. Unless you are a distributor, I don't think it makes sense to pay the prices of a direct sales company since you are paying extra to support the infrastructure. So I've tried a few different oil companies in the search for something quality, but not through MLM. Enter Rocky Mountain Oils. I'm so sold. I'm so impressed with the quality. You can get free shipping. And they do sporadic sales which is perfect since I prefer to just order my staples a few times a year. I got a diffuser from them and it's really powerful. Anyway, I definitely recommend.

Oh, and I LOVE this house. And through the graciousness of God, our offer was chosen and it's our future home! I seriously can't wait to live there. You should see the inside...it's perfectly charming. Original hardwood floors in excellent condition. Beautiful fireplace. Arched doorways and just so. much. character. The couple that's been living there the past several years took out some walls on the main floor and opened up the kitchen, so it's not as boxy as most houses that were built in 1937. We are buying it from a couple from our church. A really wonderful family who has restored and maintained this home and I literally couldn't find anything wrong with it as we walked through. I think it took about 30 seconds after walking in the front door for Devin and I to look at each other with big eyes and a knowing look of "we have to buy this house". It's kind of a crazy story how our offer was picked and I'll hopefully get that on here sometime. We are so thankful.

Being Back

We spent our last days in Indy with our closest friends and hitting up our favorite places. Then all of a sudden it was over and we were back after being gone for just over two years. We moved into Devin's grandpa's villa where we will stay until we find a house of our own. We are really thankful for a comfortable interim place, but long to have all of our things in our own house and no boxes piling up in the garage.

Our first weekend back Devin and I got a date night thanks to grandparents. We also hit up the farmer's market we used to be regulars at. It's grown a crazy amount in two years. 

I took a long drive through our old neighborhood, up and down my favorite streets while scoping out houses that are for sale. We had our first Sunday back at our old church, which has also changed a lot in two years, but still lots of sweet familiar faces who we were happy to see and that feeling of a peaceful place where good things are happening.

Two years...its nothing really, but so much can and has transpired in that timeframe. We're better people for our two years in Indy. New people, places, experiences...you don't regret that. And of course Devin's career, the reason we went, was huge for our family. Lots of good and hard things happened while we were away and I know it was the right thing for our family. I also think its right that we are back. It's not going to be perfect or easy and it's still a move and a transition, but I'm thankful for a sense of peace in that.

July 2017

What a month...

Transition. Decisions. Backing out of decisions. Vacation. Broad Ripple.

That about sums it up!

I know July isn't over, but I'm at a coffee shop on a Saturday afternoon which never happens and we also don't have internet at our rental place so if any sort of blog is going to happen, it has to be now.
We are heading into our last week in Indy. Moving sooner than expected due to (me) not liking the duplex we're renting. Location is amazing...space, not so much. I told my dad it was the worst place I'd ever lived, to which he replied that I've had a pretty good life. :)

We aren't finding a home in FW and having trouble nailing down which area we want to land in anyway so we're taking advantage of Devin's grandpa's empty house and moving there while we find a place. Henrik is enrolled in preschool, my BSF registration is transferred (sad about this...love my Indy class SO MUCH), so I suppose it's time to dive into yet another transition! I'm trying really hard to look at this as a familiar move but not like we're moving back into our old life, because I know a lot can change in two years. I've certainly changed a lot in two years.

We were on vacation at my parent's lake house for about ten days which was seriously the balm my soul needed. It was 75 and sunny nearly everyday and we just had a fabulous time. I've said it before, but that vacation home is the very best gift my parents have ever given us.

My sister had a baby! Sweet little Cal joined our family on the 11th. 

The boys and I have been utilizing our Children's Museum pass while we can! Another place we'll miss a lot. 

And this is really random, but I was trying on gauchos in Madewell and laughed a lot and snapped a picture. They were navy with an elastic waist...basically identical to the pairs I remember my mom and Grandma P wearing in the summers as they 'put up' corn. :)