As the time draws near when I move into "stay at home motherhood", I'm trying to make a list of things I need to keep in mind. See, right now it's easy to think days at home are amazing, because they're rare, but when I'm home all the time, I know it could be a different story.
So, I'm trying to get ahead of the game and get perspective now when I'm living the other side of things. The reality is that I do enjoy my job and there are so many aspects I'll miss, but for now I need to remember the negatives of working as a mother.
To future stay-at-home-mom-Emily:
Remember Facetiming with Henrik and him being SO thrilled to see you that he almost gets fussy because he can't touch you.
Remember when he was sick and even though Devin was doing a great job caring for him, you weren't there to wipe his snotty nose. You need to remember this feeling because I'm sure days at home with a sick kid will be less than pleasant.
Remember when you would be at work and feel annoyed by your job and wondering why someone else was with Henrik while you were cooped up in an office.
Speaking of being cooped up, remember the rare days of gorgeous weather and having to be inside.
Remember the annoyance of finding childcare when a babysitter canceled or you had to spend unexpected time at work.
Remember that time and relationships are more important than money, so it's okay that you're exchanging money for time.
Remember feeling torn because you needed to give your attention to both work and Henrik.
Remember when you couldn't do a Bible Study or other event during the day because of work.
Remember when it was almost impossible to meet friends for coffee because working full-time and being a mother pretty much takes up all of your time.
Remember when house projects just kept getting put off because you're hardly home.
Remember that everyone is replaceable at work, but Henny only has one mom.
Remember when all your shopping had to be online because who has time to actually go to a store?
Speaking of the store, remember how hard it was to find time to get groceries? (Okay, part of the grocery thing was having to drag Henny's bum along and that's not going to change.)
Remember when it looked hard to get a babysitter for a date night out because you didn't see Henrik all day.
Most of all, remember this wasn't a rash decision. It was prayed through and thought through and agreed upon by you and Devin. Remember you felt peaceful it was the right call. And remember that you can always be convinced the grass is greener.
*Disclaimer: reading back through this post it could come off as a slam against moms who work. It's totally not. I've been working for 9 months of Henrik's life, so I'm definitely not casting stones here. I just want to remember these things because I suspect a few months into staying home there are going to be days I wonder what in the world I was thinking when I quit my job. :)
So, I'm trying to get ahead of the game and get perspective now when I'm living the other side of things. The reality is that I do enjoy my job and there are so many aspects I'll miss, but for now I need to remember the negatives of working as a mother.
To future stay-at-home-mom-Emily:
Remember Facetiming with Henrik and him being SO thrilled to see you that he almost gets fussy because he can't touch you.
Remember when he was sick and even though Devin was doing a great job caring for him, you weren't there to wipe his snotty nose. You need to remember this feeling because I'm sure days at home with a sick kid will be less than pleasant.
Remember when you would be at work and feel annoyed by your job and wondering why someone else was with Henrik while you were cooped up in an office.
Speaking of being cooped up, remember the rare days of gorgeous weather and having to be inside.
Remember the annoyance of finding childcare when a babysitter canceled or you had to spend unexpected time at work.
Remember that time and relationships are more important than money, so it's okay that you're exchanging money for time.
Remember feeling torn because you needed to give your attention to both work and Henrik.
Remember when you couldn't do a Bible Study or other event during the day because of work.
Remember when it was almost impossible to meet friends for coffee because working full-time and being a mother pretty much takes up all of your time.
Remember when house projects just kept getting put off because you're hardly home.
Remember that everyone is replaceable at work, but Henny only has one mom.
Remember when all your shopping had to be online because who has time to actually go to a store?
Speaking of the store, remember how hard it was to find time to get groceries? (Okay, part of the grocery thing was having to drag Henny's bum along and that's not going to change.)
Remember when it looked hard to get a babysitter for a date night out because you didn't see Henrik all day.
Most of all, remember this wasn't a rash decision. It was prayed through and thought through and agreed upon by you and Devin. Remember you felt peaceful it was the right call. And remember that you can always be convinced the grass is greener.
*Disclaimer: reading back through this post it could come off as a slam against moms who work. It's totally not. I've been working for 9 months of Henrik's life, so I'm definitely not casting stones here. I just want to remember these things because I suspect a few months into staying home there are going to be days I wonder what in the world I was thinking when I quit my job. :)
11 comments:
I was doing a wedding shoot and was still nursing one of the boys…I remember thinking I needed to pump but didn't have time because pretty much nothing matters but the wedding you're shooting. I had one of those moments were you see yourself and think "how can this be worth the money…? I just want to hold my sweet baby and watch the wedding." I haven't taken on a wedding session since. Life's too short.
double click…again :)
Emily, I think this was a good idea. Might want to print off this list and post it on your fridge. I feel like I should do this if I ever go back to being a strictly stay at mom home too.
SUCH a good idea to write this down! Love the list!
Em - LOVE this list!! I think this was such a good idea for you to do. I wish I had done this before I stopped working, b/c you are right.. the grass can Always be greener on the other side and you'll want to be reminded of these things.
But I could relate 100% with pretty much everything on your list, so I really could just copy and paste yours for my reality check. :) So good for me to read through and be reminded of why I'm home.
I get to do things like bible studies, and be the one taking care of my kids, and play outside on nice days and go on long outings to Target (not always a positive!) and when those things become the norm, I can start to lose appreciation for them.
Great post!
This is so great and so wise of you to think this through! Thanks for letting us listen in! Praying for you as you make this transition.
Great things to remember!
Enjoyed reading this! It is much different being a stay-at-home mom vs working, but you will love it (even on the hard days). A big thing that has helped me is trying to get together at least once a week with a friend for lunch or a play date. Good luck in your new adventure!
Love this, and am laughing at your no sweets tweet. Sounds all too familiar...
I loved reading this list! :) I am also laughing at your blog tweet. I wish I couldn't relate. :)
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