Embracing the Season

Before winter really settled in, I had purposed (sort of subconsciously and to Devin) to embrace it and not wish it away. This is hard when you live in Indiana with all the gray, cold days. This was born more out of annoyance than anything else. Everyone raving about the coziness and the snow during the Christmas season, then as soon as the holidays pass, it's all "is it spring yet?" and "I'm so sick of this snow". This is tempting for me to do, but here's the thing...

When you're romanticizing something you leave out the reality that every season has. For instance, right now I can be tempted to longingly wait for a warm June evening when the sun is still shining at 9PM. In my perfect daydream, the boys are riding their bikes in the evening sun, Devin is grilling something yummy, and I'm sitting in a comfortable chair holding my new baby and sipping a really good beer (because I won't be pregnant!). What this daydream misses is the reality of things like bugs and humidity and possibly tired or hungry kids...maybe even a baby who is terribly fussy in the evenings instead of sleeping peacefully in my arms. 

I'm using the actual 'seasons' as an example, but I've been thinking a lot about wishing away other seasons as well. Like when our kids are in hard stages, it's easy to want to wish them away to when things get easier. Seasons when we have a lot on our plates or some added stress...quick, wish those away to more peaceful days. Oh life is kind of boring right now? Wish it away to a season that can include more travel or adventures. 

I've always been an anticipator and in a lot of ways I think that's an ok thing, but it's also set me up for a lot of disappointment. "Things will be better when..." is a thought pattern that really is just unhealthy and leads to unmet expectations. I'm also slowly learning that the mundane seasons tend to be the ones I look back on very fondly. And the really hard seasons can produce so much good if instead of wishing them away I embrace them and dig into whatever we're dealing with.

The last week has been spent in our home dealing with influenza. Thankfully Devin stayed healthy and could care for the boys while I was down. This event was definitely a tipping point for my positive, embracing attitude about winter (nothing like incredibly sick kids for several days to put those summer daydreams in full swing). And when I realize it's not even February yet I can feel a bit panicky. But I guess the point of all of this is that I feel so committed to pushing through. 

We are not in the easiest season in a lot of ways right now....we're dealing with some really frustrating/confusing things with one of our kids, there's winter and the lack of activity and vitamin D, pregnancy, several things happening at once that makes it feel like we're bleeding money, and then my 30th birthday activities all got canceled because of sickness. I definitely find myself thinking "what will happen next?" in a very pessimistic way. But, I'm committed to this season. I believe it holds something valuable for us and I refuse to miss what is here because I'm just waiting for what's next. So, if you find me complaining, feel free to hold me to that.