Sunny Days

This title is because one: today is actually sunny which is something to be thankful for and two: it's the start of the song running through my head today...the theme to Sesame Street. I didn't really know Henrik had even seen Sesame Street; maybe like a couple minutes of an episode here and there. But somehow, Elmo and Street are now in his vocabulary and he will choose to watch that show over any of the others on our PBSkids app. It baffles me, but whatever.

I want to remember these last weeks leading up to the baby that will once again change the dynamics around here. I'm really trying to soak in every second of just parenting Henrik and not get too caught up in the ensuing change, which is hard to do. It's been even harder to just relax and enjoy life because life feels kind of insane right now.

I'm currently spending Henrik's nap time in my bedroom. We're on day 5 of having a painter in our house. I went out of town for the first few days he was here, then got sick, spent the weekend recovering, and now have been trying to live in a disastrous house and be gone as much as possible because a 2-year-old boy and a painter taking up the whole main floor of our house is not a great combination. I feel like a snotty little girl complaining about the inconvenience of having someone paint my house, so I'll spare you. But I will say, the job keeps getting extended and if he doesn't finish today like he's supposed to I will probably have a mental breakdown of sorts.

Friday evening, at our appointment, Kristin (my doula) suggested I at least get a few things packed in a bag or figure out what I want to wear to labor/give birth in. It was like this weird reality check of how far I was from being ready (logistically) for this baby. I was thinking, "um, I have a ton of house projects to finish and baby stuff to wash/buy/borrow, the last thing I'm thinking about is packing a hospital bag!" And then yesterday morning I had a few hours of period-like cramps and nonstop contractions all day long which got me really freaked out as I looked at the state of disarray things are in right now. Thankfully, they stopped overnight and so far today I'm contraction-free. I knew deep down it didn't feel like labor, but it still had me a little nervous. I think the baby dropped a bit, so I think the contracting and cramping was part of that and my body just starting the process.

The great thing is, as I was pondering what would happen if I went into labor and had a baby when our furniture is all pushed to the center of rooms and things are dirty and dusty and I hadn't picked up the little bed for the baby yet, etc etc...I knew it would all get done. I knew between our parents and siblings and community group and friends that I would come home from the hospital and have a clean and put together house and meals in my fridge and a place for the baby to sleep. How amazing to know you have that kind of support system.

One thing I've been really thankful for lately is perspective. Between talking to the painter about his messed up life/family and reading my sister's blog about Africa, I've had a lot of good reminders about what really matters. Reminders that it's okay if Henrik gets another stupid cold/ear infection because we have access to great medical care and good insurance and it's really not a big deal at the end of the day. My husband will never die from a hernia that just didn't get treated. We don't need people to front us money to keep our home. While people are sitting around debating vaccines on Facebook or talking about the corruption in the NFL, there's a world full of hurting people who need Jesus and need His followers to care about real things. I've been convicted and chastised at this thought lately and vowing to be about things that really matter.

Well, happy sunny day to you.


Linda said...

I love your perspective and thoughts about what really matters and I'm glad to be part of your "support system"! :)

Sara Huber said...

God is so good to bring us thoughts and people and circumstances just when we most need a perspective shift most. I have experienced it here as well.

sarah.flyingkites said...

I actually think Sesame Street is so sweet and a kinda annoying way :)

love your honesty. i dislike living in project mess :(

hang in there!

Betsy said...

Thanks for this Em, good to hear where you're at. I'm always amazed at how one conversation with someone going through something really tough shifts my perspective. And I'm glad you're soaking in time with just will never be the same!

leah said...

hoping your house can get back in order today! :) praying you have some sweet family time between now and the baby...

& love that last paragraph, great reminder for us all as we fight our flesh in caring about fleshly things.