Who I Am and How I Make People Feel

Lately I've been thinking about different people I'm surrounded by...
People who are who they are and don't apologize for it.
People who apologize for who they are because they think I may not like it.
People who make me feel at ease and that I can be honest about who I am.
People who make me feel like I need to talk about certain subjects and hold certain views.
People that make me feel like I'm doing pretty good in this game of life.
People who make me feel like I'm not _____ enough. (several different words could go in that blank)

I've been analyzing this topic a lot. Mostly because of a couple people I know (not well, but well enough). One of which, is totally herself even though she may not be quite as trendy or "natural" as those she's around. I like how she operates...even though we wouldn't necessarily agree on certain things, I like that she'll be herself anyways. And the other person...well, I have no idea what motivates her. I have no idea how she wants to make people feel. I only know that she makes me feel less than great if I were to compare myself to her. This is most likely more my problem than hers.

Regardless, my conclusion in all this is caring about how I make people feel.
I don't want others to feel they need to apologize for what they do or who they are when they're around me.

I'm thinking a lot about who we are as family lately. What should our family look like? Where/how should we spend our money and time? What types of things are we "in to"?
Mainly, I want us to be who God has made us. He's given us interests and certain desires that I shouldn't feel the need to apologize for.

Sometimes I try to tone down certain aspects of who we are around certain people. And I'm not sure how I feel about doing that.
And sometimes I try to turn up aspects of who we are around certain people. I don't love that I do that.

I think I'm trying to figure out how to be who God has made me and have my beliefs and strong opinions, but also make people feel at ease around me. Those two things are hard to do simultaneously.

And those are my thoughts on who I am and how I make people feel.


leah said...

i really love your thoughts on this, i can relate so much. (as you could probably guess :)) i would love to dive into this subject with you sometime, this is a topic that continually gets brought up in my mind/heart. i loved the questions that you asked about who God has made EACH of us to be...and not apologizing for it.

love you friend!

Daveana said...

I really like this post Em! I related a lot to this! Thanks for the thoughts.

Christen Leigh said...

Great post--I totally struggle with this and appreciate your thoughts. Reminds me to pray that I can simply be who God wants me to be......easy to say, less easy to ret in! :)

Christen Leigh said...

**rest in :)

Molly said...

Hmm...so true - thoughts most all can relate to, I'm sure. I often think, too, when sorting through those same questions, "where am I getting my ideas and thoughts about who I am or who I want to be?" and it's always other people - usually other people's writing from books. It's weird to think what or who in the world I would be if I never read anything but the Bible. Interesting.

Sarah said...

This is such a battle...great thoughts

Ashley said...

This topic comes up at our house too...being who God wants us to be and not what others or even our selfish selves want. A constant growth area-thanks for your thoughts.

Ashley said...

By growth area I mean an area that needs constant growth :)

Sara Huber said...

I feel like I can't muster the brain cells to make an intelligent comment here, but this is a major issue for me. I am definitely a bit of a chameleon in the things I emphasize, depending on who I am around. It's almost an extreme people-pleasing thing...like I want that person to be comfortable? Or I just care that much about what people think about me? I would definitely like to grow in this area.