Seven Years In

I wrote this last week on our anniversary...kind of a random thing for a blog I never post on, but here it is...

A wise person I see on a weekly basis (aka counselor) was telling me that there's something in our brains that has to reset every seven years in a having to fall back in love with that person you're with. Hence the concept of the seven year itch. This resonated with me. I feel like year seven required some fight. Some reorienting to each other. Some harder work in our relationship. Maybe a reality check that you can't really coast in a marriage and expect it to be good.

The wise person I see also pointed out to me that in every area of my life I'm not really okay with things just being "fine"; I want them to be great. This can be detrimental in that I don't always handle disappointment well, but it's a good quality because I fight for relationships (that matter to me) to be great, not just okay. I could say more about this, but that's not the point of this post.

Seven years of marriage,
three kids,
three houses,
two cities,
a career change,
job changes,
and so much more.

Seven years is not long, but it's been long enough to experience some ups and downs and understand that choosing to love someone unconditionally is a very, very hard thing. Actually it's an impossible thing.

Devin is a very good husband. He's not perfect and has pride and selfishness that come out as anyone does, but I'd say overall he's easy to be married to (with the exception of his OCD about sheets, comforters, etc). He's patient, willing to learn, willing to apologize, and works really hard to be the stable provider of our family.

My favorite thing about being married is having that one person who cares as deeply about your family, children, success, growth, future, etc as much as you do. The person who wants to hear all the little details about what the kids did that day. It's so nice to have someone to be just as engaged in these things as you are. Devin's engagement and energy as a father blesses me every single day.

Our hardest years of marriage have always coincided with the addition of a child to our family (which means that 3 kids in seven years of marriage hasn't always been easy), so I'm happy to look forward to year 8 knowing that the third kid adjustment is behind us and hopefully we can enjoy a bit more time to focus on one another.




Betsy said...

Oh Em, this is beautiful. I've never heard of the 7-year reset in relationships, but makes sense for sure. I love that you strive for "great" in all the areas...but yes, it can bring discouragement too. Love you and love the man God brought into your life!

leah said...

as always, very well said em! thankful for you both and looking forward to see that the year has for you as you learn and grow through the hard!

(i was so excited to see a blog from you! keep 'em coming. ;))

sarah.flyingkites said...

Yes, very well said. Love your thoughts and it also resonated with me personal level.

Thanks for sharing and Happy Anniversary!

Linda said...

This was so good to read. Well-written and insightful. Thanks for sharing! It's been a busy 7 years-just imagine what the next 7 will bring!:)

Happy Anniversary...since I missed this one while you were gone!