Postpartum Brain

I'm kind of missing the days when I unloaded my thoughts or opinions on to my blog. Though, I'd be so embarrassed to go back and read those posts...which is why I never do. And you shouldn't either.

My brain is so full right now. I'm sure most women can relate to this. When do our brains ever stop?!

I've noticed that in the Fall I tend to be more contemplative and reflective about life. I also tend to be this way in postpartum, so my brain is on overdrive right now. Speaking of postpartum, how long is that phase? Like how long can one claim postpartum rights for everything that's screwed up about them?

A few months after I have a baby lots of things tend to surface. It's happened every time and tends to last until I stop breastfeeding. It's not a fun time but it allows me, or rather forces me, to work through some things that I might otherwise be able to push aside.

I can tell there are people in my life who think I should stop breastfeeding. But I just can't bring myself to do that - at least not yet. Though I have found myself pulling back my goal from nursing for one year to nursing for nine months.

This isn't something I'm unwilling to be open about. If I were talking to you in person and you wanted details, I'm an open book. But being an open book on the internet is a whole other thing...I think it has the potential to lead to insecurity and hurt with how people do or do not respond. I think for the most part people are great and empathetic, but you're always going to have someone who just doesn't get it.

Anyway, a few pictures that bring up some warm, happy feelings about this season...

Glimpses of the three brothers. Soren is too small to engage in most of their activity, but I love to see them all together and enjoying one another.

Somehow Soren is closing in on six months, which makes me feel sad at the speed of things, but happy to have such a thriving little guy. More on him in a six month post coming soon (hopefully).

Our local park is gorgeous most of the year, but was especially charming Saturday morning. You know the lighting is great when pictures from my old iPhone don't need a filter. This morning reaffirmed to me that I need to be out in nature more. It's so good for my soul.


sarah.flyingkites said...

Surely that baby picture is an old one of Ira?!?! Wow, do they look alike!!!

Thanks for sharing. Breastfeeding definitely negatively effected me too! I only breastfeed for around 3 or 4 months and still don't feel completely myself until the baby hits his first birthday. It can be a long haul, can't it?!


leah said...

bearing children is not for the faint of heart....but he is SOOO CUTE! :)

love you friend.

Betsy said...

I appreciate this, Em. Wise of you to see these seasonal changes and shifts in you, and have the courage to face them head-on. Instead of crawling in bed with Halloween candy and Instagram, which is definitely an option.