In The Moment

Once a month I meet with a group of women of varied ages and life stage. The purpose is accountability/goal setting and learning from each other. I always enjoy it and love the wise women in the group who I glean so much from.

This month the person leading our discussion talked about choosing joy (not to be confused with happiness) and how one element of that is living in the moment (not to be confused with living FOR the moment).

I'm really bad at this.

I love my calendar. I love filling in events and appointments for the next couple months. I love planning and I often spend a lot of time waiting for the next big event to arrive. I should mention this method often leads to disappointment from too much anticipation.

This is an area I really want to grow in. I think I rob so much joy out of daily life because there's nothing big or exciting going on or because I'm waiting for the next stage which will of course be better, right?

I remember being overdue with Henrik and so grouchy and anxious to meet him and then in hindsight wondering why in the world I didn't just relax and enjoy sleeping and time with Devin. Just this morning I had the thought that I want the holidays to be over so we can get to January and I can have a couple months of nesting mode and meet our baby and be done being pregnant. Then the whole 'living in the moment' discussion came flying back to me and I realized how destructive this pattern can be.

The reality is, I know when this sweet boy is born I'm going to mourn the loss of our little family of three, and of course, the loss of sleep. (I'm also realizing sleep is an idol in my life, but that's another subject.) I know if I put too much weight on the holidays being this amazing time, they'll disappoint and if I just want them to be over, I'll miss out as well. This concept translates to many areas of course.

So, here's to enjoying today. Choosing joy even if Henrik is disobedient and even if he only naps for an hour and even if I have to go great groceries in the freezing cold. I'm choosing to be joyful not because life is always perfect and fun and I'm forcing some sort of fake happiness, but because Jesus is king and if he really has kingship over my life then that makes joy available each day.


Sara Huber said...

Love your last sentence.
Love you!

L, Ann and boys said...

very good post for me to read as the temps just plummeted here. :( So sad. But I do love to watch the boys play in the snow and I may build a fire this afternoon. That's something that always gets me though these shorter days with a little more of a smile on my face. ;)

L, Ann and boys said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Linda said...

Love this whole post :)

leah said...

Love. I agree w Ann, with the weather changing its so easy to look ahead or just be grumbly. Thanks for sharing. :)

Betsy said...

Amen. Thanks for sharing.

Rachel said...

Love this, Emily! I definitely struggle with this same thing. Have you heard of the book "Hands Free Mama"? I read it this past summer and it challenged me in so many ways--it is very related to what you are saying, so I thought I'd mention it. I loved it and I want to re-read it soon :) Thanks! And yes, enjoy your family of three...I remember when one of our kids was born, on the way home from the hospital I was crying because I knew our family wasn't going to be the same as it was before she was born. Ha! So crazy to look back on that now, but I can partially blame it on hormones :) Keep pressing on!!

sarah.flyingkites said...

excellent post, Em. Love.