Seeking Direction

I don't feel like I've had to make a lot of hard decisions lately. Maybe I'm blanking...but I don't think I've wrestled over a decision since college and deciding on a major and career path. That sounds weird, seeing as since college I've gotten married and had a child. But marrying Devin wasn't a hard decision. I didn't ever question it, it came so easy. Having a child wasn't a decision, Henrik was given to us and we had to adjust. Buying a house wasn't really hard either because were having a baby, we needed to move, we found a house we liked for a good price in the area we wanted...easy decision.

I can't say I've missed toying over big life decisions. It's hard. Hard in a good way in that it draws one closer to God because you're desperately wanting direction from Him. And then hard in a bad way...how like right now I feel differently on a certain decision almost every day.

Devin is making some career changes. I'm very supportive of his new path and believe it's the best decision for our family, despite meaning we're going to be separated for awhile. (Hello single motherhood - thank goodness it's temporary.) But our decision for him to pursue something new may or may not affect my current situation. I guess the bottom line is, our lives could look very similar a year from now or completely different or just sort of different. And I'm not sure which of those scenarios I even prefer.

.  .  .

On another note, I'm feeling heavy today. Over the last few months I've observed Christians, or professing Christians, caving on Biblical truth. If not caving, at least blurring the lines, and living a life of apathy in so many areas (not to say I'm never guilty of this!). With the heated social issues right now I just feel like as a church we're screwing up. The Right is acting out in unkindness and ignorance and the Left is acting out in a watering down the gospel and calling it showing Jesus' love. I expect the 'anything goes' attitudes from non-Christians, that's not what bothers me. What I'm heavy about is highly influential people who aren't standing for truth. Not all of them, of course, but just some I've observed lately.

So, the end result with both of these things (making tough decisions and the current Christian climate in the US) takes me back to what matters: Seeking God, being in the Word, and being more diligent about prayer. And trying to just make the most of where life is at currently...which can be really difficult for me!

7 comments:

Christen Leigh said...

So totally echo your thoughts at the end--I have read various articles and heard some things lately that have made me super heavy.....and borderline anxious. :) Then I have to remember that God is God and truth will ultimately win out--if not now, then in the end. It definitely gives me a renewed urgency and vigor to be in the word and prayerful--to pray for discernment and wisdom.

Anywho....Excited to see what this next year brings about in your lives and praying it is super clear!

smw said...

will pray for your decisions. that sounds hard. just all the potentially change but yet unknowns.

and i so relate with your thoughts at the end. your conclusion is good.

love,
shar

leah said...

love chatting out both of these with you today...

and love serving a God who knows our tomorrows!

love you friend!

Molly said...

Hmm...it seems like everyone, including me, can relate to this. My friend just sent me a verse from 2 Chronicles that reminds me of what our response should be to overwhelming times of decision or times of anxiety or disconcerting realities of the culture in which we find ourselves: "Lord, we don't know what to do, but our eyes are on You!" Praying for you.

Sarah said...

Thanks for sharing these thoughts....

L, Ann and boys said...

I typed and erased...typed and erased. I'm always petrified of judging as I've grown a lot and see things differently each year I'm on this crazy planet. But I agree it gets heavy- I do believe in truth, so it's hard to see people suffer because we choose to not live in the light of it.

Britni said...

Just read this- praying for you. I totally got what you said about the good things and the hard things about big decisions. I hope that if you end up being separated from Devin for a period of time that you feel a LOT of God's grace and patience.