This Stage of Life

In a recent discussion with some of my sisters, they were asking about the transition to being a mother, and working full-time. How was it going juggling the schedule of working some days from home and being in the office some days and either leaving Henrik home with Devin or packing him up to drop him off with one of our two babysitters? And when I start to think about it, it does sound really full, and honestly, some weeks it feels a little too full.

For several weeks I was struggling with feeling like I just never had enough time. I was never caught up at home or at work. Ending the day with everything checked off of my list never happened, and it still doesn't, but the difference recently is that I'm okay with it. I'm okay with life being full...and the days when I feel like I'm not okay with it, I think back to maternity leave and how un-motivating it was for me to be home all day, every day and how crabby I was when Devin finally got home from work. When I think back to that time I realize I'm not like that anymore (not that I'm never crabby, but not consistently so :). On the two days I work from home, I enjoy my breaks with Henrik and look forward to Devin getting home, but I'm not desperate to pass the little guy off on him the second he walks in. And the days I'm in the office, I enjoy being with adults (or alone in my office :) and solving problems for my job and working through tough things, and then I can look forward to picking Henrik up and meeting Devin at home for the evening.

I guess I'm glad to find this out about myself and how God has created me. I thought during pregnancy that I'd want to keep working, but there was always part of me that wondered if I'd be miserable leaving Henrik. The reality is, I just cannot relate to women who dread going back to work, or only work because they 'have to', or thrive on being home with their kids. Not that any of those things are bad or wrong, I just can't relate to them. (I know a lot of stay-at-home moms read my blog, so I'm honestly not trying to sound superior - honestly! This is just a personal reflection of God giving me a lot of grace and a stage of life that I'm finding I really enjoy.)

I'm so thankful for how the Lord has worked out our current situation. We each get individual time with Henrik, we each get to do our jobs well, and Henrik has two amazing women (shout out to Stef and my MIL) that care for him when we're not with him. A lot of the ease of this stage of life comes from having an amazing husband. Devin I share a lot of responsibilities 50/50 and he does things most men wouldn't be okay with or even capable of. Seriously, God gave me a pretty amazing husband.

Well...anyways, I sort of got off track from where I started, but my point was, by talking with my sisters about my life right now I realized that even though it can feel a little too full at times, there's nothing I would change and I'm so thankful for that. I feel so thankful to not have anything about my life that I dislike or anything I feel is missing. I know that it won't always be this way, so this is my self reminder to enjoy it while it lasts.

In closing, lest you think I'm not fond of being a mother to my little boy...look how sweet and big he is at 4 months!



All this said, I'm SUPER excited to have the next 4 days off to be with my boys and go visit my new NIECE! More on little Fiona later...

7 comments:

Linda said...

Glad you have settled into a comfortable routine...and he certainly is a sweet boy!(both of them! :)

leah said...

really neat to hear your heart see and understand who God made you to be. :) thankful things are going well with the new schedule!

p.s. henrik is a sweetie-pie!

Devin B. Wieland said...

That's a cute kid you've got there... I always look forward to coming home to you guys--crabby or not! You're doing an amazing job at balancing work and mothering the boy... I like reading your thoughts on this stage of life, I'm definitely enjoying it as well.

Sarah said...

great post!!

Betsy said...

Em, I loved hearing your thoughts and how you're settling into confidence in your new roles. And the Shauna link was amazing...so glad I read that! I'm curious what it stirs up in you.

Have fun with Fiona!

Heather Hoerr said...

Glad that working is going well for you Em! I always worked part-time after Beckham - I think I would've been a little overwhelmed with full-time, but it's all what you get used to and your attitude about it. I'm enjoying being home full-time right now with two boys, but am starting to think that working a little bit might be in my future again before too long. :) I don't think I would ever be miserable if I was completely at home, but the mental stimulation, adult interaction, and having your own "productive activity" is nice.. keep enjoying it!

Christen Leigh said...

So glad you are enjoying this stage and are happy with the decision you made to keep working. He is growing so fast! :)