Good Riddance

Is what I would say to this week as it comes to a close.

The busyness made it go by quickly...but the events leave me rather exhausted physically and emotionally. I'll spare you the details of my health, and crazy work outs (okay those are self-induced), and long days. But I will share this...

This morning I escorted one of my teenage foster girls to a youth detention center where she will spend the weekend before being placed in a stricter facility. Other than her court hearing next week, my assigned involvement with her will cease (at least for now, but probably permanently). This happens fairly often. Cases come and go. But unfortunately, this wasn't just any case. This wasn't just any teenage girl.

She was my first. The first case I took over as an intern fresh from college. I didn't even have my diploma yet. Having a case for over 2.5 years is rare in this line of work, but she was unique in the sense that other than foster care there was no place for her. Literally no one in her family capable of meeting her needs. I don't think I got so attached to her just because she was my first case. She's special. In some weird way, she became my friend. But the last several months found her nosediving and left my hands tied. I doubt she would call me her friend at this point, though I did get one last laugh out of her as I walked her into the detention center.

So this weekend...after my hard week, I get to rest up, relax with my husband, and celebrate birthdays with my family. And while I'm eating cake and chatting with my sisters, my young friend will be sitting in an empty room wondering where the hell her parents are and why no one cares about her. This thought is more than I can handle.

I don't deserve anything about my life. And while she's made certain choices, when it comes down to it, she doesn't deserve the life she's had either. I left her with the promise that things could get better and that it didn't have to be this way, but at this point I think I believe that about as much as she does right now. The bottom line is that life isn't fair and I can do nothing to change that for her.

Jesus rescue her...you're the only one who can.

9 comments:

Linda said...

Thanks for sharing this story- and the time you have invested in your friend's life.
I'm sure she knows that you care.

Daveana said...

Wow Em- Thanks for sharing. I'll be praying!

Betsy said...

Whoa, these things make you ponder. Thanks for posting...and soak in that family time...:) I'll miss you guys.

smw said...

so sad. :( and so sad that this is the life of so many people. :(

Laura said...

oh Em-- this brings tears to my eyes. I wish I would have read it before this weekend and would have talked to you about it! I absolutely loved our time together chatting and eating cake .. love your heart!

Sara Huber said...

Thanks for sharing this, Em. I know it's not always your favorite topic of conversation, but I love hearing more details about your work. I actually woke up at night and thought of her and prayed. I love the last line you wrote...He IS able.

I have no doubt the sincere care you've shown over the past 2.5 years has been a rare gift to her.

leah said...

oh wow. this makes me ache. thanks for sharing. it's evident you are extremely invested in your kids & work. praying that this week & the after effects go as well as they can.

love you.

Sarah said...

wow...this is heavy

Christen Leigh said...

Thanks for sharing this....so sad, but so true for so many...