i'm twenty. have you ever had one of those moments where you stop and your age hits you? today i was thinking about someone and it came to mind that when i met him, he was twenty. he seemed so much older than me! i couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that i'm the age that this person was. twenty seems old. no, not like 'oh i'm getting old' but like 'how am i all of a sudden twenty, living on my own, when sometimes i still feel like a little girl.' okay so this is random, i know. but i seriously sat, frozen for like two minutes repeating to myself that i was twenty years old. subconciously i knew i had turned twenty in january, but it registered today for the first time.kind of like when you all of a sudden realize what your name is, like really realize the name people know you as, you repeat to yourself over and over until it doesn't even sound like a real word.
i know two years passing is nothing, its a blink of the eye, but i still feel odd that two years ago i was eighteen and met a twenty year old who seemed so grown up. he was in the exact same stage of life that i'm in now. and in so many ways i don't feel any different than i did then. how in the world did i get here? i thought it would feel different.
okay so right now i look at...laura for instance. thirty, married, three kids. i love talking to her and consider her my good friend along with being my sister, but i still see her as significantly older than me and in a much different stage of life. so in other words, one day i'm going to all of a sudden wake from some sort of a haze and realize i'm laura. i'm thirty, i'll look at some guy and it will hit me that i'm married to him, and i'll look around at children that clearly came from my body. and i'll sit and wonder (even though i know) how in the world i got there. for the record, this scares the crap out of me. cheers to growing up i suppose.
you can think i'm crazy now, it's okay.
5 comments:
Oh Em- it never ends. :) For the rest of your life you'll wonder how you got there, how did the kids grow so fast, and how can they be grown with families of their own? I remember thinking I would never reach 20 because the Lord would return by then! (It seemed like a magic age when I was young! :) I also remember saying my name and thinking how it sounded weird! You're not alone! mom
I specifically remember A. Lisa turning 30 and thinking it was kind of old...so now it's just ahead for me. such is life.
i do think-- what in the world, am I really old enough to take care of 3 kids and can I really be 30-- but more than anything-- I LOVE IT! I usually just think-- How did I get so lucky-- I hope that's what you think when you are 30 :)(I wonder if I will be so excited b/c then I will be 40- yikes)
Believe me, I do the same thing-- with the age thing, with the "weird!!-- people know me by this name" thing, and with repeating words enough that they sound weird in general thing.
Methinks that if you're crazy, I am too. :)
glad to know others can relate! :)
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