Life as Four

Henrik's first trip to the ice rink!

Henrik stayed with my parents for a few days last week. Our house was so quiet with just Ira and me, but it was a nice break before plunging into mother-of-two full time.

Saturday we decided we needed to get out of the house...well, I needed to. So we headed over to our favorite local coffee shop and Henrik got his first hot chocolate. That night we tried an at-home date. It was interrupted by a baby wanting to cluster feed...but still fun to see glimpses of life getting into a new normal.

Up next: almost done with Ira's birth story!

My Birthday Weekend

I turned 27 last Friday, which is a pretty anticlimactic age, I think. But Devin did a great job at making it a really special day. I woke up to a cute birthday sign and the gifts "Henrik" picked out for me: Lush bubble bars and my favorite double chocolate raspberry cookies.

Henrik has decided he's done with his high chair, not that I blame him. We really need to get a booster but for now he's been enjoying his meals at the table on his knees. We had a fun little breakfast together. I made myself one of my favorite breakfasts, french toast with peanut butter and maple syrup.

Later that morning Henrik and I ran out for his chiropractor appointment and then to Lowes for some paint samples for the boy's room. I also couldn't pass up some cheap plastic totes. If there's one thing I'm realizing as a mom, you can't really have too many totes.

At Lowes, Henrik pooped and wasn't too happy about sitting in it. I finally realized I would need to deal with it when he was telling everyone in the store about his predicament. This was ironic because Devin and I have this joke that he always poops at Lowes and always poops when we don't bring an extra diaper. So I took him to the bathroom, took off his diaper, and let him go commando. It was an adventure if nothing else. He got to pick out a treat in the checkout isle because he had been so patient with my indecisive paint sampling. I was hoping he would choose the sour patch kids because that's what I wanted. But he chose M&Ms. We had a minor freak out when he realized he only got a few and not the whole bag, but we made it. :)

Devin took me out on a really fun birthday date. We went to an exhibit opening party at the art museum and then dinner, where I ordered my own creme brûlée for dessert and immediately felt sick when I ate the whole thing. He gave me what he called an 'in between' wedding ring. It's been almost a year since I lost my engagement/wedding ring (sore subject I don't like to talk about) so I've been ringless for awhile. I can't say I enjoy walking around with 1.5 kids without a wedding ring on.

Devin made sure to do lots of nice things for me all weekend, like an awesome Sunday brunch after church. Although I'm not sure if he was treating me so kindly for my birthday or because he got to play hockey twice on Saturday. :)

We finished the weekend with dinner at my sister's house, which is always fun and very little social pressure, which I love. Henrik loves it there with cousin "My" (Miles).

Thanks to everyone who made my birthday special! 

Perspective

As the time draws near when I move into "stay at home motherhood", I'm trying to make a list of things I need to keep in mind. See, right now it's easy to think days at home are amazing, because they're rare, but when I'm home all the time, I know it could be a different story.

So, I'm trying to get ahead of the game and get perspective now when I'm living the other side of things. The reality is that I do enjoy my job and there are so many aspects I'll miss, but for now I need to remember the negatives of working as a mother.

To future stay-at-home-mom-Emily:

Remember Facetiming with Henrik and him being SO thrilled to see you that he almost gets fussy because he can't touch you.

Remember when he was sick and even though Devin was doing a great job caring for him, you weren't there to wipe his snotty nose. You need to remember this feeling because I'm sure days at home with a sick kid will be less than pleasant.

Remember when you would be at work and feel annoyed by your job and wondering why someone else was with Henrik while you were cooped up in an office.

Speaking of being cooped up, remember the rare days of gorgeous weather and having to be inside.

Remember the annoyance of finding childcare when a babysitter canceled or you had to spend unexpected time at work.

Remember that time and relationships are more important than money, so it's okay that you're exchanging money for time.

Remember feeling torn because you needed to give your attention to both work and Henrik.

Remember when you couldn't do a Bible Study or other event during the day because of work.

Remember when it was almost impossible to meet friends for coffee because working full-time and being a mother pretty much takes up all of your time.

Remember when house projects just kept getting put off because you're hardly home.

Remember that everyone is replaceable at work, but Henny only has one mom.

Remember when all your shopping had to be online because who has time to actually go to a store?

Speaking of the store, remember how hard it was to find time to get groceries? (Okay, part of the grocery thing was having to drag Henny's bum along and that's not going to change.)

Remember when it looked hard to get a babysitter for a date night out because you didn't see Henrik all day.

Most of all, remember this wasn't a rash decision. It was prayed through and thought through and agreed upon by you and Devin. Remember you felt peaceful it was the right call. And remember that you can always be convinced the grass is greener.

*Disclaimer: reading back through this post it could come off as a slam against moms who work. It's totally not. I've been working for 9 months of Henrik's life, so I'm definitely not casting stones here. I just want to remember these things because I suspect a few months into staying home there are going to be days I wonder what in the world I was thinking when I quit my job. :)

Happy 10 Months

It really has been a happy 10 months of life with this guy. Even when I'm extremely relieved to see him go to bed for the night, I inevitably miss him a little bit a couple hours later.

I'm way late posting this. He's getting closer to 11 months now, but I say better late...

He has beautiful hair. It needs cut in the back as it gets closer to a mullet every week. My first attempt at a trim left it a little Amish-like, so right now I'm just doing nothing. He won't sit still for a picture, so sitting still for a haircut seems unlikely.

Lately he makes really funny noises. Like a raspy yell or something. His favorite word is "mum mum" which can mean a lot of things, but mostly it means mama. Speaking of "mama" have you ever noticed how many spellings people use of that word? Momma. Mama. Mamma. I'm not sure which is the right way. So 'mama' it is.

He's been a little bit of a picky eater. I made him a lentil/potato/broccoli dish that had nice seasoning (I would have eaten it!) and he won't touch it. Last night he wouldn't even eat his sweet potatoes until they were doused with prune. We're slowing transitioning to finger foods. And I'm trying to find ways to get protein in his little body since meat hasn't been a hit so far. Tahini in applesauce, anyone?

I'm not sure what type of parents we're becoming, but it seems somewhere in between strict and laid back (that narrows it down, huh?). We're I'm definitely not the baby-proofing kind. I tend to just move anything out of his reach that could kill him and otherwise let him explore. It's exhausting at times...but it is what it is right now.

He continues to love books and being read to. Unless he's really hyper then he likes to slam the books around rather than look at them or be read to. Henrik is constantly moving. Unless he's tired or just waking up, then he can be kind of cuddly, which I love. But overall, he's always looking for things to get in to. Seriously. He will be playing with a nice age-appropriate toy and then stop as if he just remembered something and hightail it to the stairs or to the wine glasses that are hanging within his reach. Ornery. And he thinks "no" is a funny game.

He LOVES music and will dance to anything. Even at my parent's church, where they sing acapella hymns, he does his bum-shaking moves and plays air-drums. 

I'm pretty adamant about not caring what other kids are like at this age so as not to get into the weird comparison game, but people tell me he's really good. People comment on how happy and pleasant he is all the time, so I suppose it must be true. 

These are the times I'm really glad I blog. A baby book has been nonexistent and writing journal entries about Henny has been less than sporadic. At least I'll have something to reference from his first year!

The Growing Boy

Love that one tooth!

These were taken early in the morning, hence the bad shadows, but look at that bed head! It seriously isn't static. It was standing straight up!

Morning face. :)

The Lion and his 'White Boy' Moves

Just so you all could see our cute little lion boy.

Not very sure about being in costume.

I'm officially a much bigger fan of October 31. Dressing up a kid is a lot more fun than I expected. But mainly, because having a cute dressed up kid is the perfect way to get to know your neighbors better.

There were a couple neighbors I had been wanting to get to talk to more, but it's just hard to catch people for more than saying hi (even when you share a driveway). Halloween evening ended up being really fun and created the perfect opportunity to have longer conversations with a couple of my neighbors who were sitting on their porches handing out candy. Henrik is the only really little kid in our area of the street, so of course they all went nuts over him. :)

Realizing it was a little harder than usual to move around.

And just to show off what I like to call his 'white boy' moves...

Henrik starts dancing almost as soon as he hears music. In this particular instance, Devin was practicing drums in the basement and Henrik was dancing and drumming along with him.

Zoo Season

It seems like everyone is posting about zoo trips lately. Maybe because the crowds and heat have died down. It really is the perfect time of year to visit the zoo. Our city doesn't have a lot of cool things, but it does happen to have one of the highest rated children's zoos.

I took a day off work and went to the zoo with the girls/kids from Devin's side of the family. It was so gorgeous out and such a fun day with Henrik! I'm not sure he cared a ton about the animals, but loved being outside with his mama and other kids!

Zebras are my third favorite zoo animal. They just look so cool.

I'm not exactly sure what this animal was, other than ugly. But Henrik enjoyed pounding on the glass. :)

Happy to get some of Grandma W's apple at lunch.

Giraffe's are my second favorite zoo animal.

Henny got sleepy...it's a rare treat to have him sleep on me!

The orangutangs are my favorite. They are so fascinating to watch. The way they gracefully swing around is really just amazing. Their human-like qualities and thoughtful expressions intrigue me so much!

This picture is a little deceiving. He didn't sit there long. He seemed to enjoy being on the carousel but preferred to be held.

Feeding the giraffe. I thought it was fun. He was just ready to nap.

Loved spending the day with this boy!

Rookie Mistakes: Part Two

Part One on Pregnancy/Delivery: here

Post delivery thoughts and what I would do differently next time (or things I'll do exactly the same)...

This might have belonged more in the first post, but I'm glad I had Henrik in a hospital. Not because of the safety thing. Really, with how smoothly things went, there's no reason I couldn't have had him in a birthing center or at home. And really, someone with my birth preferences probably should do a birthing center or home birth. However, I'm one of those rare people that really like hospitals. I loved being pampered for a few days. I loved having people come see us in the hospital. I loved picking up a phone and ordering a strawberry milkshake. I loved the help from lactation consultants. I loved the free diaper bag (even if I already had one and chose girly colors). I loved our nurses. There are aspects of a birthing center that would be so much more my style...but bring your own food and be out within 24 hours? No thanks (unless our insurance situation would totally change). And birth is messy so you're crazy if you think I'm gonna do that in my house.

Contrary to the degrading breastfeeding blogs I read in the month or so after Henrik was born, not every woman naturally produces enough to feed their child. This was so frustrating. Nursing a kid for 40 minutes only to have him cry of hunger afterwards was pretty disheartening. I remember sleeping for like three hours straight once, soon after he was born and was amazed when I woke up that my mom had gotten him to sleep. She then told me she had given him 2 ounces of formula and he conked out. It's funny now, but I was actually annoyed at my mom for giving him the bottle. I was all paranoid, "will he prefer formula?" "will he nurse bad now?" etc. That was dumb. It took me close to two months to realize we just needed to supplement a little formula after each feeding. Once we did, we had a totally different kid. It was amazing.
That being said, formula stinks, is expensive, and it's just a huge pain to nurse and then give a bottle, so next time I'm hoping to get ahead of the game. I've found herbs and products and hope to put together a good plan for increasing and sustaining my milk supply in hopes of little to no supplementing. And hopefully Henrik isn't scarred for life from being hungry the first few weeks of his life.

Two words: disposable underwear. The ones at the hospital were great, but they ran out a couple days after we got home. Thankfully I have a stellar husband who was happy to run to CVS to pick up embarrassing items. :)

I had some really good tips from blog friends about things to take the hospital, so that was helpful. Having a good bath robe was was one of the best decisions. I'm not picky about pillows, but I do wish I would have brought my own blanket (better fabric). I also should have had someone bring coffee every morning since the hospital coffee was the worst and I needed a half cup or so to clear my head in the morning.

Having my mom come and stay was definitely the best decision. It was a good call to have her come a day or two after we got home. That gave us a chance to get settled, but also brought in reinforcements as the newness wore off for all parties. ;) I do think I should have let people help a bit more. It was awesome having meals, but I'm pretty sure people offered to do other things, like clean or laundry and I definitely should have swallowed my pride and let that happen.

I have mixed feelings about how rigid we were I was with training Henrik to not need rocked/held to sleep and to not need nursed to sleep. I guess I can't really say I know what things would be like if we hadn't done that. Maybe we'd totally regret it now? But here's what I will say...
We loosely followed the babywise schedule. Key word, loosely. It all pretty much got thrown out the window when Henrik was around 4 months and making him take a nap at a certain time or for a certain length was (and still is) laughable. It did seem to work well in his early life. He was sleeping through the night most of the time by 2.5 months, so that was awesome. But here's what I regret: Henrik does not fall asleep being held. So he might be crazy tired in church or at someone's house, and the idea of rocking him to sleep in our arms or him falling asleep on our shoulder is absurd. I get so jealous of people whose baby's are cashed on them. Secondly, I feel like I missed out on some time of just cuddling my new baby boy. Obviously we held him a ton, but next time I'm just going to relax, strap my baby to me lots more, and enjoy it, knowing he'll grow up way too fast.

 I'm sure there are more and I know there will be more and time goes on, but these are the ones that come to mind from Henrik's young life thus far.

8 Months of Henrik S.

Today is a good day to write this post. Mr. Henrik Sebastian has been a complete doll baby all day (thus far). It's been one of those days when you wonder how you ever enjoyed life without this buddy.

Of course, the first eight months of Henrik's life hasn't been all bliss. A lot of it has been hard and tiring and frustrating and exhausting (which I remind myself of often, lest I get the idea that Henrik needs a sibling). Although, thankfully the majority of the worst times were in the first couple months. Rookie parenting or just a fussy newborn? I'm not sure. I'm just glad we don't have to redo those first couple months.

Then there's yesterday, for instance, when Henny decided he wasn't interested in being in the grocery store...at all. Maybe he's hungry? I frantically grabbed one of those squeezable food pouches off of the shelf, tore the lid off, and squirted some in his mouth. This helped for about 5 minutes, although, it basically meant standing in an isle inching forward between his bites. Finally, I realized I just needed to hold him, and grab the must-haves off my list. So I did. I frantically maneuvered the cart with one hand, Henny in my other arm, grabbing whatever looked like what I needed (not the most economical way to shop, btw) and got to the checkout line as fast as possible. When I handed the cashier the half-eaten squeeze pouch she gave me a pitiful smile and said "oh, yeah, you actually have some of that on you". Henrik had sucked on my arm and there was a bit of carrot residue there, but nothing major. I smiled and shrugged it off. It wasn't until the way home I realized what she must have been referring to and why she looked embarrassed for me. Apparently he had also rubbed some all over my left...uh...chest area. Thanks, buddy, I must have needed an ego check.

Wide-eyed with lots of drool. Classic Henrik.

Henrik is very social, which is funny if you know his parents at all. :) He adores people, especially kids, which is why it's so fun one of our babysitters has young kids for Henrik to interact with (he loves Stef too). His favorite people seem to be Dev and me and his grandparents, and his cousin Miles and aunt Molly. He's so friendly. No such thing as stranger anxiety for this kid (at least not yet).

I'm so thankful to be his mom and I have a hard time remembering he isn't really "mine". I've already seen ways that having Henrik has been so good for me spiritually and for Dev and I as a couple. I've seen a couple clear reasons why I know it's good that I became a mom much sooner than I wanted to. During pregnancy, I believed on some level God knew what he was doing with our surprise baby, but it's been really great to believe it on such a deeper level because of all the good and all the refinement. 

Happy eight months, Henny, you're the best in the land.

Sleepy Henny

So remember that porch swing time we do before bed? Someone was a little sleepy the other night and that someone's dad thought it was funny to video the scene instead of put the dear boy to bed. Don't be misled though, I would have done the same.

Six Months!

Our friend and part-time babysitter, Stef, took some 6 month pictures of Henrik Sebastian. So weird he'll be half a year on Saturday!

It was hard to pick a favorite, but this one was definitely up there! Stef did a great job!

Henny is 5 Months!

He got his first taste of food (sweet potatoes), started playing in an exersaucer, swinging in a real swing, and it's time to adjust his diapers to the next size!

He still despises being on his stomach and will only roll over from his stomach to back to get off his stomach. I can totally see this boy never crawling and going straight to walking. He loves to stand.

Okay so he may look like a girl here in his gown. But I bet he's comfortable. :)

Looking like such a chunk!

Love this face. :)

First taste...definitely unsure. 

After Baby Body

In my first trimester there were a couple scents I was using that made my stomach churn. One was Aveda Rosemary Mint lotion (it was the mint part). And the other was my Meyers basil dish soap and countertop spray. To this day both of those smells make me feel a little nauseous. Pre-pregnancy, they were two of my favorite smells.

I'm also shedding hair like it's my job. While pregnant, one day it hit me that I wasn't shedding a normal amount of hair. In fact, hardly any at all. Well, I'm making up for it now. Seriously it practically comes out in clumps. I've heard other women talk about this after having a baby, so I know it's a thing...but still...why?

Certain women gave me the impression that breastfeeding was like a weight loss miracle. Comments like "I'm the thinnest I've ever been in my life from breastfeeding." This totally wasn't true for me. Sure, I know it helps to shrink your uterus back to normal size, but to claim it's the only element to getting your pre-baby body back? Nah. Thankfully my sister Molly warned me that a decent amount of women can't fully shed their pregnancy pounds until they quit breastfeeding.

My skin was so smooth during pregnancy, especially my face. Now I feel like my face needs exfoliated constantly and seems to have aged. Which, I know aging is a reality, but seriously, I'm only 25. (This could be in my head, Devin says so.)

One thing I can be really thankful for is that I didn't get stretch marks. And that weird line down my mid-section is basically gone.

I'm finally starting to feel like my body is my own again. As easy as my pregnancy was, I think I'll be glad for a however-many year break from growing/birthing/nursing a baby. Our bodies really are amazing though - to grow and feed little humans - so cool. But, it certainly comes with some quirks (that's putting it nicely).

On that note, happy weekend. 

Bunches

Oh this boy. He is a doll baby. I could kiss his sweet little cheeks all day long.

Vintage mobile from Gma G. He is so obsessed with this thing. The second I lay him down and he sees my hand reach up to wind it...he bursts into a huge grin. A great way to mesmerize him while I get a quick shower!

Bunches is one of the many nicknames this boy has. It's kind of funny that we gave him an official nickname of Huck, because it's probably the name we call him the least. We do call him Henrik a lot, but also call him a crazy list of things such as...

Bunches
Bunchies
Bunchy boy
Cheeseball (because he spits up so much he ends up smelling a bit cheesy at times)
Busters
Buster Crab
Bunch-a-lunch
Crabby Butt (this one not so much anymore, but used it a lot in his first month of life when he was well...a crabby butt)
Punky Boy
The Boy
H
Honey Bunches
Hucky boo boo (Devin thought this one was pretty clever)
Doll Baby
Dolly Boy
Dollies
Bastian Boy

Yes, we've turned into huge weirdos. Well, mainly me. 90% of these are used by me.

More sweetness...

love that look and the double chin!

Two Months

Thanks so much to everyone who has supported the adoption fundraiser for Molly and Jarod! The giveaway goes until Wednesday so there's still time to donate and get entered!! Winners announced on Friday!

Henrik Sebastian is changing so quickly. Smiling, cooing, and very alert. So fun to start getting feedback from him and see his personality develop. He's 11 lb 14 oz as of his doctor appointment on Friday and is an overall healthy boy. What a doll baby...