I have this habit of downplaying things that us 'rich' Americans go through. Whenever I'm having a hard day I self talk a lot by reminding myself of all the orphans, 12 year old sex slaves, mamas who have to watch their babies starve, people who lose their spouse at a young age or lose a child. I tell myself to suck it up because my life is so easy compared to most of the world. You know, the whole "first world problem" mentality.
Usually, this is a good thing. We are a coddled people and we need to be reminded of that. However, this way of thinking becomes bad when I project this on God and feel like my struggles or problems must not be meaningful to him because he has bigger things to worry about. Obviously, not biblical. I tend to scoff at people who shallowly (in my mind) list off all their blessings and how thankful they are when they have such an easy life.
This is, of course, my problem.
So where I'm going with this...being apart from my husband I've done a lot of self talk. He's not dead. He didn't leave me for another woman. He's not off to war for a year. It could be a lot worse.
BUT: the Holy Spirit has been enlightening me to my pride in this area. "Hey Emily, it's okay to appear like something is hard". It's okay to be thankful for what may seem like "shallow" blessings in an easy life. I'm coming to terms with the fact that it's okay for me to think that being apart from husband for 9 weeks is hard. It is okay. Even if other people have far worse situations, it's okay for me to feel this way.
So, all that being said. Over the past week or so, God's mercies in this time have been SO evident. Let me share a few...
Henrik slept and traveled well on the trip to and from my parent's. I happen to think traveling alone with a screaming kid is rather stressful.
My mother-in-law watched Henrik a couple different times so I could go to the chiropractor and run errands, things I'd usually do while Devin stayed with Henrik.
After being gone for 5 days, I came home to a dry basement despite all the rain and melting snow.
Sunshine.
Emails, texts, etc from friends and family offering prayer and encouragement.
Today I was feeling exhausted and had a pounding headache and wasn't really sure how I'd make it through the rest of the day with Henrik. Definitely one of those days I would have asked Devin to come home from work early. Suddenly, and I do mean suddenly, I felt great. I felt renewed energy and no headache. Maybe from prayers? Maybe the oils I applied? Either way, the mercy of God.
I'm already thankful for what God is showing me during this time.
Usually, this is a good thing. We are a coddled people and we need to be reminded of that. However, this way of thinking becomes bad when I project this on God and feel like my struggles or problems must not be meaningful to him because he has bigger things to worry about. Obviously, not biblical. I tend to scoff at people who shallowly (in my mind) list off all their blessings and how thankful they are when they have such an easy life.
This is, of course, my problem.
So where I'm going with this...being apart from my husband I've done a lot of self talk. He's not dead. He didn't leave me for another woman. He's not off to war for a year. It could be a lot worse.
BUT: the Holy Spirit has been enlightening me to my pride in this area. "Hey Emily, it's okay to appear like something is hard". It's okay to be thankful for what may seem like "shallow" blessings in an easy life. I'm coming to terms with the fact that it's okay for me to think that being apart from husband for 9 weeks is hard. It is okay. Even if other people have far worse situations, it's okay for me to feel this way.
So, all that being said. Over the past week or so, God's mercies in this time have been SO evident. Let me share a few...
Henrik slept and traveled well on the trip to and from my parent's. I happen to think traveling alone with a screaming kid is rather stressful.
My mother-in-law watched Henrik a couple different times so I could go to the chiropractor and run errands, things I'd usually do while Devin stayed with Henrik.
After being gone for 5 days, I came home to a dry basement despite all the rain and melting snow.
Sunshine.
Emails, texts, etc from friends and family offering prayer and encouragement.
Today I was feeling exhausted and had a pounding headache and wasn't really sure how I'd make it through the rest of the day with Henrik. Definitely one of those days I would have asked Devin to come home from work early. Suddenly, and I do mean suddenly, I felt great. I felt renewed energy and no headache. Maybe from prayers? Maybe the oils I applied? Either way, the mercy of God.
I'm already thankful for what God is showing me during this time.
7 comments:
I'm glad you shared these reasons to give thanks. It is humbling to know that God cares about the little things too!
I like this... I tend to self talk too and think about extreme situations (death) to put my current "hard" situation in perspective (usually something like a sick kid). So while sometimes I probably am making a big deal out of nothing, I like the reminder that it is ok to admit things are hard when they really are and be thankful for my "shallow" blessings. :)
oh i love this...we all have suffering in different packaging, don't we? but it's all still degrees of suffering that God wants to teach and grow us through. thanks for sharing this. i can relate on several levels.
& love your list of thankfulness! (and the blog tweet. :/ sorry, i laughed.)
I just LOVE your thoughts in this post! You are so right!
Definitely give yourself the right to say this is HARD. It's only for 9 weeks, but that doesn't negate the fact that it's hard. Hope you continue to feel held up by prayer and the mercies of God new with each morning.
This blessed me, especially how God lifted your exhaustion yesterday. I love it when others share real experiences like that.
I know what you mean about trying to "self talk". I am glad you are admitting that it is hard--because it is! Thinking of you and praying for you all in this season--hope this weekend is fun. :)
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