Thoughts from 40 weeks and 4 days


Thanks to those of you who have inquired or checked in to see if Pops is here...unfortunately all I can say is this child is already frustrating his or her mother. I told Devin I was almost starting to feel resentful towards the baby for not budging. Almost is the key word there (no need to call CPS). I realize it's not Pop's fault, but these situations always leave me with wanting to blame someone. :)

Everyone I know who has been pregnant lately either has had their baby early or right on time, so I think this falsely got me in the mindset that it would happen that way for me as well. Expectations are everything, right?

I'm having a fairly substantial contraction as I type. That's pretty common over the last couple days. Lots of contracting, sometimes with pain. Sometimes they even start to form a pattern for an hour or two and then come to a screeching halt. I was at the doctor yesterday after being at the hospital thinking my amniotic fluid was leaking. Long story short...it wasn't. They did an ultrasound to find that Pops is healthy and thriving with plenty of fluid and a little on the big side which totally freaked me out (but I'm told their estimate could be way off).

I was starting to think maybe my due date was off, but the ultrasound actually had the baby measuring like a 41 week baby - so that's clearly not the case. I guess I really should just be thankful. It's been an easy and healthy pregnancy and clearly this baby is thriving...and better to be late than early, right? The longer that baby can be in there the better - or so I hear.

I think I could have demanded an induction yesterday, and even though I was slightly tempted, I know that's not what I want. My main birth goal all along has been not to be induced and thankfully my doctor was very straightforward that forcing my body into labor before it's ready would only increase my chances of a c-section or at least a tougher than necessary labor, which are both things I'd like to avoid. I was dilated to 2 (I had been one for the past 3 visits) and almost all the way effaced, so things are progressing, just slowly. She stripped my membranes (ouch) and said she hoped she'd see me by the weekend. If not, I have another appointment Tuesday and then I would guess we'll talk about induction since I'd be 9 days overdue at that point.

I'm obviously really praying I don't make it past this weekend. With the increase in contractions, pressure, cramping, etc I feel hopeful, but again, nervous to set expectations because they keep getting trampled on. Thankfully, today I made the decision to just go ahead and start my maternity leave. It was really frustrating each day to not know whether or not to go into work and each day tying up all the loose ends, only to be back at work the following day. It's nice to just feel like I'm on a break and can schedule more fun coffee dates with friends and just TRY to chill. "Chilling" is not coming easily lately. Honestly, I've just been super frustrated and impatient. Thankfully I have a positive husband who counteracts all my negativity (though sometimes I wish he's just be negative with me). :)

I'll leave you with what I'm hoping is the last belly photo - taken at 40 weeks and 2 days...


12 comments:

L, Ann and boys said...

It's a really great thing to be effaced and dilated a bit already before going into full blown labor (and doesn't always happen for a first baby, so good for you). You're getting some of the work out of the way as you wait...though I'm sure it's hard (And I'm sure you've already heard that a 100 different ways). Each one of those contractions is doing "something" or so I told myself waiting longer than my norm for Willem to come along in his own sweet time. And if it helps the sun shine little brighter...he was the easiest baby ever and had the highest apgar scores...the extra time made him quite pleased with himself apparently. ;)

You're smart for not demanding an induction in my humble opinion...tempting I'm sure...but looking back you'll be proud you hung in there. :) I was freaked to even have my water broken at 4 cm dilated and no action...just felt wrong to push it in my mind.
Oh and depending on how the baby is positioned, it may be causing contractions to start and stop. My false labor stopped because (after the triage nurse @ the hospital did an exam) Willem totally turned his head the other way and it took the pressure off. No more contractions every 5 min. Not that it's all that helpful, but the explanation kind of made me feel more sane and understanding of my body's start and stop rhythm.

That got really long-and hopefully not annoying. ;)

Sara Huber said...

Lookin good girl! Can't wait to meet Pops soon! Hang in there!

smw said...

with smith i seriously started to think he would never be born. i know it's a totally illogical, but i think i was starting to lose my sanity. :) best wishes!!

Molly said...

Ann - what good advice! Thanks for sharing that! Much more and better than I could have ever said, so I'll echo your encouragement:)

Shana said...

You just said my same story only I'm only 39 weeks, but you hit the emotions right on the dot. Everyone that was due after me has already given birth.

Sandra said...

Soon Em, very soon:). I know oh so well how easily it is to get impatient! With two of mine coming 2 weeks and 3 days early I assumed they all would come early like that. Of course they did come early, just not as early and I was frustrated when I passed the 2 week 3 day mark. Totally get your feelings. But you are so right, the longer they are inside the better off. Besides this is ALL GOD'S timing and he knows exactly when pops should enter this world.

Sarah said...

love this post (esp the first paragraph)

I did a lot of praying for you yesterday because someone (nameless) was pretty sure you were in labor. Hope the extra prayers helped ease the disappointing news :)

Hang in there!

Amber said...

Praying for you every day Em - I keep wondering if I'll see your contraction app show up on instagram with actual contractions be recorded. : )

Lots of wise advice -so just know you're being prayed for!

leah said...

haha. ok, so maybe i talked to my sister on wednesday when i hadn't heard from you ALL day. i was convinced you were at the hospital! (which you were, just not having a baby!)

praying for you and can't WAIT to meet this crazy kid!

emilykate said...

An, your comments were actually really helpful - not annoying! I had solid, somewhat painful contractions for around 5 hours last night and then they of course just stopped. But at least I could think they were doing something! :)

L, Ann and boys said...

Came back to read comments. :) WIth you and Molly's encouragement...I'll turn into a comment leaving monster. heeehee ;) Also, I forgot to mention you look great/healthy in the picture posted and simply had to amend that. I will make no guesses on the gender. ;) When people said they knew what I was having based on what I looked like I always raised one eyebrow (I think I can do that) I'm sure and thought "based on which curve?".

Kendra said...

Praying for you Em! Excited to meet this little guy/girl:)