it is good to be back. back at purdue. back at marsteller where life is almost always pleasant. back with my dear leah. back in my favorite living room spot on my grandma gutwein's old couch. ahhh...life as i know it.
despite the dirty halls, random/bad smells, lack of privacy, & showers that turn lukewarm too quickly...this place makes me smile. but why wouldn't it? it's the people that make a place amazing. mismatched furniture, inadequate fridge space, and those smelly ladybugs don't seem to phase me when i'm surrounded by friends and good times....i am so thankful for this stellar street of mars.
i feel i must take a minute to mention something, although many of you have most likely caught wind of it due to the "ac grapevine" as dubbed by a friend. i am no longer engaged. after a month of ups & downs & searching, earlier this week i came to the assurance that this is, in fact, not how my life should be playing out at the moment. i am still much in need of being a young, crazy, college student.
sure i have questions. sure there is frustration, confusion...but there is something that trumps all of those...the amazing peace i have. i know many people are questioning...why did she say yes? why did she feel so good about this before? i wish i had answers to those questions, but i don't. i have something better though. i have the constant reassurance from my Savior that though this may not make sense now, or ever, He allows everything to happen for a reason and His perfect plan is still in tact. i have never been so calm about having my life be totally back up in the air again.
life is hard, but God is good. i find i say this to myself a lot. i believe i'm even starting to embrace the hard times because when things are tough, you better believe i'm hanging on to the Lord closer than ever and learning tons. what a good place to be.
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11 comments:
Emily...I have memories of Marstellar simply from visiting my cousin Rachel H. when she went to Purdue, and the memories there are truly great ones. :)
I hadn't heard that your engagement was off, and I don't know any of the surrounding circumstances, but I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you, that if you felt that this is how God is leading you, that you had the courage to follow. I know it has to be really difficult, and I'm not going to act as though I know how you feel...but I've just learned in my life that the hard times are almost like bridges that God builds from your life to someone else you may never have been able to reach before. Difficulties seem to touch people in a way that nothing else really does. I will be praying for you Emily. Thanks for the post.
Emily,
I had not heard about the engagment being off, but I want to encourage you in the direction you are taking. ONLY GOD and You know what is best for your lives. Making a choice to be unengaged had to be a difficult desision but obviously you are following what GOD wants. To do that takes a huge step and when you follow GOD and not your heart your life will be blessed far beyond your wildest dreams. Hang in their girl and I want you to know I'll pray that GOD continues to direct you and that you can hear him loud and clear!!!! Love you!!!
Praying for you!
Love,
Sarah
Oh, dear friend:) How I love you so! You will be in my prayers daily. Excited to see what this semester has in store for us:)
Em-- love ya! Thanks for sharing your heart, even when the going gets rough. I am so blessed by your friendship-- you are in my prayers!
Emily,
you probably don't know who i am...but i do read your blog and have always appreciated your thoughts. I didn't know about your engagement becing off but I just want to echo the others here and say i'll be praying for you. I'm thankful you had the courage to obey God even when it seems to "public". God is Good and I'm glad you're holding tight to Him.
Hey Emily,
I actually just stumbled across your blog and I too, doubt you know who I am. :) gotta love this blogger world... I married Kaitlin's brother, Clint.
Anywhoo... I hadn't heard about your engagement being off, but I too will be praying for you. Know that you're not alone. Several years before Clint and I got married, I was engaged to someone else in our church. For me, the fact that it was so public was kind of hard, because I'm a pretty private person. But because it was public, I was the recipient of so much love and compassion. (as you are probably experiencing)
Thanks for having the courage to do the hard thing. There's nothing like having that peace back in your heart. There are many situations in our lives that don't make "sense." But looking back, I'm amazed because I can see the evidence of God at work.
Keeping you in prayer, Alesa Bahler
Em-
Yet one more example of why I love your transparency, courage . . .and willingness to join God in a great adventure. I'm confident His story for you will be full beyond your imagination.
love you Em.
Wow. Thank you so much everyone for the encouragement! I have felt a consistent peace that continues to awe me and make me so thankful and I know it is due to all the prayers, very much appreciated!
Oh, and I do know who you all are. :)
this comment seems a little late.
but I LOVE YOU EM.
thanks for your open heart and the courage to step out in faith to follow that God-given peace in your heart.
you're a dear.
Emily,
I've felt like I should say something to you in person but thought you were probably already getting enough comments and questions. So here I am.. letting you know I'm one of the creepers following your blog! :) Thanks so much for sharing even when its tough. I'm praying for you.
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